McCoy's Action Karate
  • Home
  • TRIAL OFFER
  • About Us
    • About MAK
    • FAQ
  • Classes
    • SCHEDULE
    • HOME SCHOOL KARATE
    • KIDS KARATE
    • ADULTS & TEENS KARATE
    • AFTER SCHOOL
  • WORKSHOPS
    • BULLY-PROOF
    • KID SAFE
    • KIDS CONCENTRATION
    • ADULT SELF-DEFENSE
  • BIRTHDAY PARTIES
  • Contact

2/9/2018

WHY I NEVER LET MY KIDS QUIT…ANYTHING

35 Comments

Read Now
 
Picture
Quitting. We quit jobs, we quit marriages, we walk out on friendships and sometimes we let people down when the going gets tough. Sometimes it is necessary, even the right thing to do. Our kids quit teams and music lessons, art classes and after school programs.

Sometimes it’s necessary, but sometimes they are bored or don’t like the coach or would just rather play video games at home. Deciding when to let your kids quit something, be it Gymboree, Little League or SAT prep, is a question that never goes away.

My kids have tried it all.  I have driven them to sports, found drum teachers, glass blowing lessons, painting and ceramics classes. They have tried their hands at their school newspapers, student government, ESL tutoring and computer programming camp, though why that qualifies as camp, I am sure that I will never know. In the end, they did not commit to most of these activities, but at the same time, I never let them quit a single activity.

Our rule is simple: Try any activity that we have the resources to make possible. Go once, go even twice but if you commit, I told my kids, there will be no quitting. At the risk of overgeneralizing, I think our children have so many choices of ways to enrich their lives that sometimes kids quit an activity as an easy response to frustration or boredom.

I regret many of the things in life that I quit, not because I was enjoying them when I left, but because if I had stuck it out and reached any sort of competency, I might have found that elusive enjoyment. In reality, this meant that my kids had to stick with the team until the season ended or an art class until the sessions ended. There was no walking out on computer camp because it was dumb or quitting drums because we recognized a dearth of musical talent. Every activity was to be seen through to completion.

Why was I so tough on them? Why draw what might seem like an arbitrary line in the sand?

Constancy, commitment and loyalty are all values I hoped to instill in my sons. Learning to endure something even when it became boring or unpleasant, when the coach or teacher didn’t like my kid, or vice versa, seemed a lesson truly worth teaching. I thought that the first time I let them walk away from something just because at that moment it didn’t suit them was the last time I had any credibility about endurance or resilience because the refrain henceforth would have been, “but you let me quit….”

Over time, my kids learned they were never going to be allowed to quit things so they should be careful about what they committed themselves to, because the word commit was going to be taken literally. The result? Good things and bad. Perhaps they didn’t try things they might have, although we usually made clear up front that you could try something (say by going once or twice) but after they signed up we were done with discussions.

But we had bad days, really frustrating end-of-my-rope days. There were tantrums and miserable practices and screaming scenes where I reminded them that this was something they had said they wanted to do. The upside? They had long, enduring relationships with instructors, coaches and teammates who changed and enriched their lives. One high school son has been on the same soccer team for nine years. It is the stuff that childhood memories are made of.

I sound so confident now, but on a weekly and sometimes daily basis I was wracked by self-doubt and misgivings and even now am not sure if what I did was right. The one thing that I have observed is this: My college-age sons have true passions, things they study in school and activities they are involved in outside of the classroom.

Passions are not like dreams for most of us, we don’t wake up one morning and find they have miraculously come to us in the night. Parents often talk about helping kids find their passions. But passions do not always reveal themselves unbidden, as often they are a result of hard work and dedication, the joy that comes of doing something well.

My kids’ passions are the result of endless hours spent learning a subject or mastering a skill. In each case, it is something that in childhood they begged and pleaded with me to quit and in late adolescence they have told me how much they enjoy. I made them stick things out because mastery, even at a child’s level takes time and repetition.  Competence breeds confidence but success and accomplishment breed self-esteem and social well-being. One of my college kids, by his choice, still plays on a soccer team.  Yet in a particular parenting low point, I pushed his 12-year-old self out of the car to make him play when the practices had ramped up and become far more difficult. ​
Martial Arts helps kids learn to stick with things and have fun along the way.  Through a series of goal setting and learning new skills kids are constantly motivated, inspired and gain competence.  I have personally trained 100 or more black belt kids.  They all have gained skills like self esteem, confidence, courage, tenacity and perseverance.  Parents tell me things like, "Of course the kids have highs and lows in training.  Many have wanted to quit along the way.  But that's okay.  It's okay to want to quit."   The real important things is to team up with the parents, child and instructor to make sure the child doesn't quit when that feeling come along. 

-Greg Silva, 10th degree black belt

From Grown and Flown

Share

35 Comments
Henrik link
5/16/2020 11:02:59 am

I once knew a family, with a daughter. The father said ”it’s important for you to know martial arts, it’s something that you have to do. You can try as many as you like, but once you have decided, we stick with it until you are 18!” She chose where I was teaching at the time, and she was stubborn as hell, but it was working fine!

Reply
codybecth link
6/1/2022 08:59:43 am

Great Article! Thank you for sharing this is a very informative post, and looking forward to the latest one

Reply
win-for-life link
3/18/2024 01:56:09 am

Your work is so creative! Thank you for posting something like this.

Reply
gold99 link
3/18/2024 03:19:24 am

Thanks for sharing such great information. Keep the hard work going and I hope to see such beneficial post ahead.

Reply
new-member-register-free-100 link
3/18/2024 03:53:31 am

It is such a well written content of a blog. Thanks for sharing this article. I am truly motivated by you for blogging.

Reply
phjoin-app link
3/18/2024 04:06:55 am

The content of this article is excellent without any doubts. You really doing a great job. I'm inspired by you. So keep it up!!

Reply
dali777 link
3/18/2024 04:17:09 am

Wow this blog is brilliant! Wish to see this much more like this. Thanks for sharing your information!

Reply
phjoin link
3/18/2024 04:48:09 am

This Article is Awesome! Waiting for your new interesting articles.

Reply
new-member-register-free-100-in-gcash link
3/18/2024 05:06:42 am

I really appreciate the effort you made to share the knowledge. The topic here was really effective. Keep rocking!

Reply
wow-jili link
3/18/2024 05:18:52 am

Superb article and I would really like to thank for your article it’s really helpful.

Reply
jilimvp link
3/18/2024 05:40:29 am

Thank you so much for the informative and interesting blog. I like every points that you have discussed.

Reply
lvjili link
3/18/2024 06:03:24 am

I find this article is very interesting thanks for sharing the informative post with your experiences.

Reply
77jili link
3/18/2024 06:25:04 am

Amazing content for a blog. I'll definitely be sharing this post with my followers. Keep up the great work!

Reply
jiligo88 link
3/18/2024 06:43:06 am

Your information is very interesting. Thank you for sharing!

Reply
boss-jili link
3/18/2024 06:24:31 pm

I love how your posts are always so thought-provoking and well-researched. Keep up the good work!

Reply
fbjili link
3/18/2024 06:34:21 pm

I always learn something new from your posts. Thank you for sharing such valuable insights.

Reply
bossjili link
3/18/2024 06:45:14 pm

Thank you for the hard work you put into your blog. It's truly appreciated!

Reply
mabuhay-win-casino link
3/18/2024 06:59:08 pm

I appreciate the depth research and the unique perspectives you bring to the table.

Reply
ayalabet-casino link
3/18/2024 07:07:30 pm

Thank you for delivering such high-quality content. Your article is a valuable resource for anyone interested in.

Reply
zeus777 link
3/18/2024 07:36:19 pm

I'm always impressed by the level of thought and care you put into your articles. It's clear that you are passionate in writing your blogs.

Reply
fg777 link
3/18/2024 07:52:18 pm

Your article never fail to inspire me. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and insights with us.

Reply
ye7 link
5/11/2024 03:07:19 am

You know how to grab a reader’s attention. You absolutely nailed the ending. It was so satisfying.

Reply
kaswerte link
5/11/2024 03:24:53 am

I love your writing voice because it’s engaging and approachable. I think this plot really works because of how well you’ve paced the story.

Reply
kaswerteye link
5/11/2024 03:38:36 am

I’ve studied your work a lot, and I’m trying to get better at writing myself! Your writing always makes me want to become a writer, too.

Reply
Phjoin11 link
5/22/2024 08:39:02 am

Phjoin11

Reply
BMW555 App link
6/18/2024 12:26:02 am

BMW555 App

Reply
Mega Swerte link
6/20/2024 01:14:05 am

MegaSwerte

Reply
Mega Swerte Casino link
6/26/2024 04:19:45 am

Mega Swerte Casino

Reply
yg777 jackpot link
7/21/2024 07:47:11 am

yg777 jackpot

Reply
Logan W link
8/5/2024 09:25:30 am

Hi great reading your bblog

Reply
Net Trends link
10/31/2024 09:43:11 pm

Great overview! Clear, well-organized, and packed with useful insights. Looking forward to more like this!

Reply
Baganga Reviews link
11/11/2024 12:50:16 am

Great job! Clear, informative, and very useful. Excited to see what’s next!

Reply
Mega Swerte link
11/11/2024 12:59:18 am

Excellent summary! Clear, concise, and packed with valuable insights. Looking forward to more!

Reply
PPGaming link
11/11/2024 01:01:27 am


Nicely done! Informative, to the point, and very helpful. Looking forward to more!

Reply
Net Trends link
11/11/2024 01:03:18 am

Great overview! Clear, well-organized, and packed with useful insights. Looking forward to more like this!

Reply



Leave a Reply.

Details

    Archives

    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017

Location

McCoy's Action Karate
711 Southbridge Street, Suite 7
Auburn, MA 01501

Contact Us

Phone:  508-832-4110

Hours

Monday: 9AM–8:30PM
Tuesday: 3:30–8:30PM
Wednesday: 3:30–8:30PM
Thursday: 3:30–8:30PM
Friday: 9AM–8:30PM
Saturday: 9:15AM–12:30PM

    Subscribe Today!

Submit
Built by Get Students
© COPYRIGHT 2017-2018. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
  • Home
  • TRIAL OFFER
  • About Us
    • About MAK
    • FAQ
  • Classes
    • SCHEDULE
    • HOME SCHOOL KARATE
    • KIDS KARATE
    • ADULTS & TEENS KARATE
    • AFTER SCHOOL
  • WORKSHOPS
    • BULLY-PROOF
    • KID SAFE
    • KIDS CONCENTRATION
    • ADULT SELF-DEFENSE
  • BIRTHDAY PARTIES
  • Contact